Today is one of those days. You know them, "those days." Days when it seems everything just doesn't fall into place. People get on your nerves, you are feeling physically and mentally fatigued and you just want to run away. Yeah, just run somewhere....anywhere but here!
As you may know from my profile, I am still employed with a company even though I write on the side. Actually, argueably, it could be the otherway round - I write and take up a job on the side. That's a discussion for another time.
Right now, I feel worn out from within. Its like my passion is drying up and has infact hit the red-zone. While i seat at my desk in the office mulling over the day and how I spent it (hopefully trying to get to the root cause of my temperament), I discovered that i have been at my desk for two hours past closing time. I have been trying to read some school notes for an assignment I have (i am still studying. You never really stop studying do you?). I have only succeeded in getting through 3 pages in two hours. Obviously my mind is not there.
Whats wrong with me? I wonder. Is it the fact that my car developed a fault which is costing me a small fortune to repair. Nah...couldnt be.
Or maybe its the fact that I feel out of place and am just another face in the crowd at my organisation. Hmm... thats warm! I think it may just be that.
I am no doubt depressed right now as I can hardly read my books, or concentrate on any other thing but to write this post. Infact I am not concentrating on this, i am just writing as it comes out from my heart. You see, I love to write. I could sit here and type all day.
I hate mediocrity with all the energy in me. I hate the fact that I could be doing so much more and I am stuck at a job that i have little or no passion for anymore. Dont get me wrong, my job is cool. It could be fun. But then, maybe for someone else. When you do the same thing over and over, it kinda gets boring, dont you think? People confuse 10 years experience with 1 year experience 10 times over. They both add up to 10 but in the first you learn new stuff and get to grow. The latter, well, you learn in year 1 and repeat it every year for 9 more years. By the way I have the former not the latter! :)
My point? Many people are caught up in jobs they hate. They have no choice but to go to work and hope to get paid. Afterall they have to survive. Yes, but they do have a choice. They are many ways to ensure your life is filled with passion. For instance, you can do what you love by the side (during your free time), or you can be fortunate to influence the department and section you work at the office. If you love strategy, you could target a strategic planning role etc.
I have come to realise after all these years working to earn my living, that it is highly essential that you find a job, vocation, hobby, work etc that you are extremely PASSIONATE about. Without passion, you will only endure the years as they pile up. Its mediocrity and misery - going to work daily to a job you would rather not go to. It makes no sense, does it?
Passion is the fuel that energises you to work. When you work in a place you are passionate about, you end up working extra hours without even noticing. You bolt out of your bed in the morning eager to get to work and continue with that assignment on your desk. Speaking of assignment, I just remembered the one i have to submit this weekend and i have a chapter more to read before I start. Sigh! Certainly no passion there! Just cant get steer my mind to those notes!
But alas and behold, i am writing this post, and i hope to spend some more time to develop a plot for a book i intend to write next month. Fun! Passion! I have temporarily forgotten about my state of mind, the office politics, the appraisals, my car repairs... I am happy doing what i am doing - writing!
What more can I say folks, follow your passions. It will see you through in tough times.
And one more thing, some please comment on my post, at least i know that i am not just writing to myself. Pleeeease :-)
|